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Communicating your Needs to your Domme

Communicating your Needs to your Domme

It’s obviously completely unrealistic for each Domme and sub pair to be able to read each other’s mind 24/7 and act accordingly. It is therefore imperative for a sub to be able to communicate what his needs are if the Domme is consistently missing the mark with you.
Don’t get Me wrong. It is certainly all about the Domme’s wishes and desires. Her needs and wants come first. However, I think it is correct to assume most Dommes aren’t interested in relationships where the sub is almost always not having a good time. Though some sessions together may be treacherous, humiliating or otherwise un-pleasurable for you, both parties should be sharing in the consensual fun.
So, how do you communicate without disrespecting the Domme? Read and learn!

Are you Her slave?

One of the best ways to really connect with your Domme is to check if She is accepting new slaves. Remember to do your own research on this first. Look through Her clip store(s) and/or website to see if the slave application or topic has been addressed. It most likely has.
If She is accepting slaves, apply! This is your opportunity to clearly state what you’re looking for and She can readily see if you would potentially be a good match on the application.
Going from a sub to a slave is a big step towards having a much more meaningful relationship with your Domme.

Have a Tribute Ready

There’s hardly anything more disrespectful then having a meaningful, time consuming conversation without proper compensation. It just shows respect for Her time and your relationship with Her, so, when you’re ready to discuss your needs with Her, tribute Her first.

Message Her when Not in Session

Generally, I would advise to write out your message via e-mail so it gives your Domme time to process what you’ve said in Her own time. Telling Her during a session where She’s in the mind set of having Her way with you is most likely not the best approach.

Discuss Respectfully

Since I know you subs probably have no idea how to talk with Women to begin with, here is a structure you can use to communicate that will show respect to most Dommes:
  • Tribute before your message.
  • State that you appreciate Her and your relationship with Her.
  • Clearly state that the decision is Hers if She wants to explore whatever needs you have with Her.
  • Clearly state that, if She is unwilling to try, you will have to get these needs met elsewhere.
  • In the event you have to get the needs met elsewhere, clearly state what that means for your relationship with Her. Will it end? Or, will it continue?
  • Thank Her.

Don’t Worry About Rejection

Lastly, I want to address fear. I know many of you are afraid of speaking to a Domme or expressing yourselves freely. However, it’s important that you discuss things if you’re consistently not having fun in your sessions. No one wants to be in a situation where both parties aren’t having fun.

If your Domme is unwilling to make sure you’re having a good time it might mean that it wasn’t a good match. And, that’s okay! There are so many Dommes out there with different styles. Especially in a Domme/slave relationship, it is better to know this sooner rather. There is nothing wrong with learning more about yourself in what you are and aren’t looking for as a sub.

You have one life to live as a sub. Make it count and serve your Goddess well!

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