Domme Spotlight Interview

How did you discover the world of FemDom and what attracted you to it?

I began exploring my sensual side by exposing myself to a wide gamut of experiences and play friends about eight years ago. Over time I found many men who gravitated towards me had interesting proclivities for fetishes and femdom fantasies. I am very curious and adventurous by nature so I found myself wanting to explore other people’s fantasies as well. I have always been a pretty dominant figure in life. I have never been afraid to take control of things or had a hard time speaking my mind. I have always been pretty good at getting into someone’s head to mess with them as well which is a big part of being good at femdom, the ability to sell the fantasy and get into someone’s head.

How long have you been a Domme and have you noticed any differences in the industry between now and when you first started?

I have meet people as a Domme for 7 years now. Late last year I made the transition away from real life to more of an online Domme though I still see people I have known for years. I think I was pretty clueless to how social media plays into it and how much is now online. I guess I just focused on things in my own little world. There seems to be a big focus on younger women and findom now and that I don’t remember from years back, but I also wasn’t really paying attention to what was going on with social media years ago either. I am kind of grateful for the fact that I didn’t really pay much attention to what others were doing though because it forced me to develop my own style and way of doing things that work for me and the people I know which is more of a seductress type character rather than a sadistic one.

What are some of your most memorable moments as a FemDomme?

I would say what I enjoy the most are the relationships I have with my subs. I think maybe I have a slightly different perspective then other dommes in that I am more of a sensual figure and guide. I consider myself a keeper of people’s secrets and in a way a fantasy maker. I love the feeling of knowing that I am an outlet for a person to escape their lives and challenge themselves. I love a session where someone completely surrenders and breaks down into tears of pain and joy and love. They lose themselves in the fantasy, they go somewhere they didn’t think they would, and they are spinning from it. I love the emotion, the dance that flows back and forth when the relationship is a good one. I am intoxicated by the power and adrenaline that transpires within the power exchange.

Please share one factoid about yourself that your subs and fellow FemDommes may be surprised to find out.

I am a fairly well-educated and well-traveled person. I have been to over 50 different countries and love the off the beaten path places most people would consider risky places to travel. I enjoy adventure and living life to the fullest so I don’t have regrets. One day I hope to return to the third world and build a school because education, children and charity are very close to my heart.

What are some things you wish you knew about being a Domme before you started?

I wish I would have embraced my sexuality and the control I have over men when I was younger. I am a mature female, which works fairly well as many younger men have a thing for mature ladies and many older gentlemen prefer women in their late thirties- early forties because they are more experienced and worldly so I am at a good place, but if I would have known what I know now about femdom and the world in general when I was in my twenties; I would have been unstoppable :). I also wish I would have understood that there is some serious emotion and feelings involved in this realm of play. There tend to be a lot of psychological factors that underlie certain fantasies and fetishes. I wish I would have known more about those aspects before I started because I would have been a better guide or maybe not have indulged certain things. Sometimes you find people have had pretty traumatic experiences which have led them to this area and as a domme I think you need to exercise a good deal of caution not to do harm, at least I feel that way. I wish I would have known more when I first started about what drove people to what they were seeking. Now I take the time to find out, I didn’t when I first started. What I have come to understand through the years is that I know much more about who a person really is then even the closest people in their lives, because as a people we tend to harbor secrets. We hide them away for fear of judgment or because we are worried what people would think if they knew what we really thought or were into. So most people keep that hidden from their loved ones-yet I know that side of a person and that is very intimate and special. I now understand the importance of the role I play in a person’s life, and I take that responsibility very seriously.

If you could change one thing about the FemDom industry, what would it be?

If I could change one thing I guess it would be the idea that every dominant female needs to be cruel and a man hater who is dressed in leather and kicks everyone’s ass. To me the concept of a dominant female translates to any female in the position of power. I view it in terms of a seductress that tempts people into fulfilling their fantasies and stepping outside of their comfort zone. As I said, I am more like a seductress and open-minded play friend guiding my subs to explore areas they want to experience with or without the humiliation and pain. I have many subs who feel shame dressing as sissies and who want to experience these facets of play without feeling more abnormal or ashamed about it. I understand for many the humiliation and degradation is part of the experience but for many others, it is not. They simply seek someone they can share that intimate part of themselves with who accepts them for who they are without judging them. There is a lot of trust and intimacy in these relationships and I appreciate that. By and large however, most people think Dominatrix or Mistress and they think heartless vixen who is there to simply punish, but there are so many shades of a dominant female and we should take care to not paint everyone with the same broad brush.

What are your favorite fetishes to indulge in with your subs?

I really enjoy restraining people and playing with sensations, tease and denial, edge play. I love to play with people’s heads and their desires. I love to spank and mix pleasure with some pain. I love instructing people to touch themselves and eat their cum. I really like playing with sissies and taking my strap on to them in sweet surrender. I love to role play and to do cuckold scenarios. I find most people fascinating. I have very few fetishes myself surprisingly, actually I think my fetish might be involving myself in other people’s fantasies to be honest because it gives me great pleasure.

Do you have any least favorite fetishes and why?

I am not a sadist person so I don’t take pleasure from truly hurting my subs. I tend to think because of that aspect I am a better domme for it. I am a big believer in only giving to someone what I would take myself. So I am not into a lot of medical play or hard core corporal punishment. I am not really cruel at the heart of me, so things that require being really malicious are not so much my cup of tea.

Outside of FemDom, what are some of your hobbies?

I am a very spiritual person so I enjoy things like yoga, meditation, essential oils, auras. I am a voracious reader so I enjoy reading about whatever interests me at the time. Right now I am learning about erotic hypnosis and angels. I work out regularly doing a cross fit program and personal training which keeps me on my toes and helps keep my mind clear. I have little spare time really, but when I do have it I also enjoy taking pictures, video and traveling.

Does FemDom actually turn you on? If not, what does?

I think being a femdomme is a turn on. I am most turned on by someone with confidence and an open mind that is willing to push their limits just as I am. I am not turned on by all fantasies and fetishes I explore but seeing someone surrender to my power and let go is a turn on to me. In general I love filming passionate adventures in my personal life where there is no power exchange involved, just pure pleasure.

What are some of your turn offs?

I do not like rude or arrogant people. I don’t like people who try to top from the bottom. I don’t like cheap people or ones who are afraid of everything. You are either into this or you are not, and I am not going to be the one to convince you.

Describe your ideal slave / sub.

An ideal slave or sub to me is one who I connect well with. They are loyal and considerate. They don’t question my guidance and do what is expected of them. They surrender themselves fully to me and allow themselves to let go. Communication is key, a good relationship with your sub is like a dance. When it works it is lovely, when it doesn’t its awkward and bad at best.

What could a sub do that would please and/or impress you the most?

They could show their loyalty and devotion in many ways. Their generosity is always appreciated, like everyone else its nice to be appreciated and spoiled. Being generous with tributes and purchases from my wish list in addition to session fees is always a lovely surprise. I love random acts of devotion like tattoos or brands, my name shaved into pubic hair, pictures sent of their devotion to me always brings a smile.

What is your favorite aspect of being a FemDomme?

I think what I love most of all is being a keeper of people’s secrets. I get to see a side of people that is very rarely shared with others. I love that I feel empowered by what I do and I also consider myself a soother of people’s souls. There are many people who feel a lot less uncomfortable with themselves because of me being part of their lives and I really do love that.

Please comment on how you feel about performing in clips, on cam, and in person. Do you offer each of these? How do you feel about them?

I have been filming personal experiences for many years now so I am very comfortable in front of a camera. I enjoy filming clips, its always a good time. I only recently made the transition to having an online presence and started camming as a dominant on Chaturbate which I think is actually pretty fun. I still do meet people are a real life domme but they are people I have known for years. I will never say never in terms of meeting someone new again, but I have made the transition to an online dominant now for the most part. I am always open to new experiences and adventures, that is what life is all about in the end.

Is there anything else you’d like to say to the DommeSource audience, to both fellow Dommes and subs?

Develop your own style and way to do things. Its great to look to others and see how they go about it, but the best thing you have to offer to people is yourself and what makes you unique. You should embrace it and own it. The right people will gravitate towards you because of it.

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