Personal Friends Family Finding Out You're an Online Domme

Personal Friends/Family Finding Out You’re an Online Domme


For many Dommes and other sex workers, it can be unsettling to think of our personal friends and/or family finding out what we do online.
Here is what helped me personally the most:

1. Assume the Worst Case Scenario Will Happen
I’m not a person that likes to be negative but, in a situation as important as this one, it is best to assume that absolutely everyone in your personal life will find out that you are an online Dominatrix. Are you okay with that? If not, it is my best advise to not do this job if you can’t handle the risk that comes with doing sex work. If you decide to do this work anyway, but still fear the risk, this job will be extremely stressful for you and cause you to worry… and there will never be an escape to that.

2. You have No Control
This is one of those really harsh reality checks that is important to keep in mind. There is no way to control what people share of you online. Every picture, video clip, cam show or otherwise that you do… can never really be totally private. It is best to assume that anything can and will be plastered all over the internet.

3. One Person is All it Takes
As such, it only takes one person to post your content online. And, it only takes one person to recognize you that may then out you to the rest of your personal friends/family. There is no taking that back or going back in time.

4. Content on the Internet is Forever
It is best to understand that anything you post of yourself online is there forever, even if you yourself delete it. Copies can and most likely have been made and can be posted at any time. This is true even after you leave the industry all together. Quitting FemDom does not mean quitting what people may post of you on the internet, even with the best of DMCA practices. Speaking of DMCA, with the worst of trolls, it may provoke them to post your content even more.

5. Geo-block is NOT Safety
Don’t be fooled by any site that offers a geo-block. Anyone can easily get around that (or be viewing you from a vacation spot or any other combination of scenarios) and, really, all it does is hinder your earnings and affect your placement score on many sites. Here again, it goes back to #1. You’re in this to make money but now you’re doing things that cause you to hurt your income (via the geo-block). If you are too afraid of the risk of sex work, then you shouldn’t do it to begin with.

Final Thoughts
I urge you all to think long and hard if being a FemDomme is the right job for you. In many cases, you may not be able to simply go back to a vanilla job if you have been discovered and outed as being a sex worker. In the best case scenario, you may have to explain why there is a gap in your resume.
When people ask me what to do if you have been found out… It’s really a tough question to answer and how you handle that depends on you, your friends, your family and your own situation.
Ideally, the work you do as a FemDomme can be something you are very proud of. That doesn’t mean you have to shout that out from the roof tops. But, it may mean that the people that mean something to you… do know. I myself have a grand time telling those close to me about my online adventures.
At the same time, ideally, you want to make sure that your friends and/or family members are able to handle knowing. If you know it would cause an extraordinary amount of burden and stress on them, it would put you in a situation to choose been being a FemDomme or not. This is not something anyone else can give an opinion on or choose except for you.

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