Domme Spotlight Interview
Raven de Sade
Domme Source
How did you discover the world of FemDom and what attracted you to it?
Raven de Sade
I had always known it existed but in a very narrow way. I thought all Dommes were the Dominatrixes you see in popular media; tall, dark haired, wearing latex and armed with an arsenal of pain devices. Those types obviously exist in all their glory, but I was not expecting such a large spectrum of looks and approaches to domination. I discovered my broader view of Femdom by my work as a cam model. I saw Dommes in online social communities and learned about what they were doing, but I didn’t consider myself one of them…until I realized something. Even though I was a tease model I was constantly getting requests from subs to be Dominated. Whether it was my look or my naturally dominant personality shining through I was doing FAR more Domme and Fetish shows than tease shows. And most importantly it came very naturally and was far more interesting to me. I WAS a Domme! I had been all along. I haven’t looked back since.
Domme Source
How long have you been a Domme and have you noticed any differences in the industry between now and when you first started?
Raven de Sade
I started Dommeing off and on about 2 years ago offering live shows, but I have become a full time Domme since July of 2016. I haven’t noticed too much of a difference since I made it my sole focus, but I look forward to seeing how it does change over time!
Domme Source
What are some of your most memorable moments as a FemDomme?
Raven de Sade
The first time I made a man cry sticks out! To a layperson that will sound so strange, but in this community I’m sure most will understand. A sub had been looking for a release in humiliation, but had never found a Domme who quite hit the right spots. When I zeroed in on them and hit them just right he found the release he was looking for and cried. He was extremely grateful afterwards. I suppose beyond that my first Wishlist plundering (a sub cleaned it out in what must have been a world record!) and the first time another Domme complimented my work.
Domme Source
Please share one factoid about yourself that your subs and fellow FemDommes may be surprised to find out.
Raven de Sade
I play several musical instruments and can sing. And before you ask, no I do not plan doing it in my videos any time soon!
Domme Source
What are some things you wish you knew about being a Domme before you started?
Raven de Sade
I wish I had known about where to maximize my potential as a Domme better. I had an idea which camming site was the best, but all the other avenues like clip making, hosting, which social media to utilize, I wish I would have had that info to start with. Apparently I’m not the only one and now we have this wonderful website thanks to Princess Mika!
Domme Source
If you could change one thing about the FemDom industry, what would it be?
Raven de Sade
I would like to see an end to the notion that there is one true and right way to Femdom and that deviating from it in any way makes you a “Fake Domme.” Each Goddess is the ruler of her own domain and she will rule as she sees fit. Nude, Non-Nude, Brat, Mistress, Hardcore, Softcore, Aloof, Kind, Posh, Casual – one is not better than the other and all are valid forms of Domination.
Domme Source
What are your favorite fetishes to indulge in with your subs?
Raven de Sade
I adore humiliation, I fully admit it! I am a very verbal person and coming up with ways to humiliate subs in new cutting and witty ways truly excites me. I am also extremely psychological so manipulative fetishes like Blackmail, Findom, Coercion and Mesmerization are favorites! And of course there’s foot worship. Even people who aren’t subs catch themselves staring at my feet! I don’t know how many times I’ve heard, “I’m not even a foot person but your feet…they’re perfect.” They are, and I make sure to take extra special care of them.
Domme Source
Do you have any least favorite fetishes and why?
Raven de Sade
There are a handful of fetishes that I don’t engage in but Racial Humiliation, Gay Bashing and Incest are my top No’s. I am not one to kink shame but I personally do not like them and have refused shows in the past or requests to make clips.
Domme Source
Outside of FemDom, what are some of your hobbies?
Raven de Sade
Aside from playing music I enjoy attending concerts, the theatre, basically any live performing art. I enjoy dancing but I admit it’s hard to find a dance partner that knows how to lead against my strong personality. They have to be truly exceptional and even then it’s hard! I also have an interest in retro fashion and styles which anyone who has ever looked at my Wishlist will pick up on right away! And finally, I tend to accumulate skulls or items with skulls on them. It’s not an active hobby, just a style that has always appealed to me. I’m never too far from a skull in my home!
Domme Source
Does FemDom actually turn you on? If not, what does?
Raven de Sade
I am not turned on sexually by what I do, but I am turned on emotionally and intellectually by having power. I have a natural predatory side that Femdom feeds on a daily basis. My non-Femdom turn ons are wit, intellect, and confidence [tempered with humility of course ;-) ]
Domme Source
What are some of your turn offs?
Raven de Sade
I very much dislike lateness and being kept waiting. My time is valuable and I see it as a lack of respect. In that same vein I also dislike indecisiveness. I understand being curious or unsure, but at some point you have to make a decision and it should be sooner rather than later.
Domme Source
Describe your ideal slave / sub.
Raven de Sade
My ideal long-term sub knows what they are seeking from the get-go and can articulate that with the proper respect and humility. They come prepared with their boundaries thought out and a willingness to relinquish control and commit to their servitude until a “safe word” is enacted. Once everything has been established they will serve me in whatever way I see fit and not question my decisions. They will respect our contract and my time. They will tribute and accept their tasks as well as their punishments when the need arises, and they will take joy in pleasing me. Obedience, loyalty, and active tributing are my primary requirements.
Domme Source
What could a sub do that would please and/or impress you the most?
Raven de Sade
My attention is earned, so when a sub contacts me with tributes first I take it as a sign that they are serious about beginning their Worship of me. I also meet subs on cam all the time that I never see again, but I am impressed when one of them follows up with a tribute or goes on to buy my videos. It shows they are thankful for the gift I have given them. The final thing that impresses me is when a sub will take on the expense of something directly related to my empire, in addition to gifts that are meant to spoil me; a new laptop, an HD camera, the fees for web hosting, etc. I feel they truly know the meaning of the word Worship because they are willing to do anything to keep me making new and better content and keep ruling them.
Domme Source
What is your favorite aspect of being a FemDomme?
Raven de Sade
I like being in control, so controlling all aspects of my Femdom empire is definitely at the top of the list! I also thrive on variety, so the potential to do so many different kinds of domination with as many different kinds of subs is extremely fulfilling to me. I also love the psychological aspect to what I do. The human mind is a fascinating place and I love that it’s essentially my office! Each sub psyche is unique and as my long-term subs will tell you I really like to get in there and find out what makes them tick.
Domme Source
Please comment on how you feel about performing in clips, on cam, and in person. Do you offer each of these? How do you feel about them?
Raven de Sade
I don’t offer in-person sessions, though I have been asked. The only way to see me in person is at Public Industry Events where I will more than happy to sign your collar if you’re good! I enjoy filming and live camming. Each have their own pros and cons, but ultimately I enjoy the variety of both. My favorite aspect of live camming is the challenge of meeting a new sub and quickly figuring out how exactly to dominate him on the fly. It keeps my instincts and claws sharp. With making clips I have FULL creative control of what I do and choose exactly what fetish I will be focusing on in every clip.
Domme Source
Is there anything else you’d like to say to the DommeSource audience, to both fellow Dommes and subs?
Raven de Sade
To all my fellow Dommes: You are all 100% worth it and so much more. Own your power! To subs I say, when you find the Domme that fits do everything you can to please her. She takes control so you can lose it and that is the greatest reward a sub can ask for. Do not take her for granted and Worship her the way she deserves.
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