Domme Spotlight Interview

How did you discover the world of FemDom and what attracted you to it?

FemDom has intrigued me since I was a teenager starting around the age of 13. My nickname in high school was literally “Miz”, short for Misery, but I was often referred to as “Miztress”. When I go back home my friends still call me Miz are no one is surprised I became a Dominatrix. And yes, it’s safe to assume that I was very gothic from the age of 14-17. I’ve always been drawn to the dark arts and I feel as those fetish is something that I was born with in my blood. Even as far back as preschool was I dominating the boys on the playground and was always getting in trouble for my perverted nature. It wasn’t until adulthood that I came to realize I wasn’t “bad” but was just a natural born fetishist. I started dancing at the age of 18 where I first discovered dungeons and my power as a dominant Woman. Over the years it has developed and I’ve been able to experiment with various sexual partners and clients who’ve been open to role playing with me. In time, and through experience, camming and research, I have found myself living my dream as a professional and lifestyle Dominatrix.

How long have you been a Domme and have you noticed any differences in the industry between now and when you first started?

I didn’t start referring to myself as a Domme until about 5 years ago, but I also didn’t start thinking of myself as a sex worker until a few years ago when it became this trendy thing to do. I just saw myself as an adult entertainer. However, in every relationship I’ve ever had, it is my role to be the dominant partner regardless of the Alpha status of the male. When it comes to females, so far, we’ve always been equal in our partnership.

I have seen some dramatic changed in the industry as the internet has opened up so many doors for fetish, and is evolving sexuality in ways never before known to society. At this point everything is sexualized, and although that can be bad for some things, I think it’s amazing to see how diverse and creative people can now be with their sexuality. I will tell new people I meet that I am a Dominatrix, and half the time they don’t have a clue what that is, and the other half of the time they become instantly intrigued and filled with questions. I think most people want to explore their darkest fantasies and find it so exciting to meet people like me who can help them do that in a safe way.

What are some of your most memorable moments as a FemDomme?

Violet Doll and I did a live session with a sub last May that was magical for everyone involved. It was very much like a theatrical play, and all of the characters involved were ignited with an energy that words can not describe. I learned a lot that night and fortunately for the world of fetish, that session was recorded into clips and is for sale on both of our stores.

Please share one factoid about yourself that your subs and fellow FemDommes may be surprised to find out.

This probably won’t surprise that many people but I use to work in a funeral home, and yes, I have done it all. At least I have assisted, and at one time I did want to pursue a career in mortuary science. It started off as an opportunity given to me while I was working as a limo driver often times driving for funerals. I was offered a position in the care center of the biggest funeral home in town, and so for 4 months I did everything from body removals from homes and hospitals, to cremations, embalmings, autopsies, hair and makeup, memorial service work, and more. Unfortunately it didn’t pay much at all and was dangerous because all too often they’d send me alone to do removals even in the middle of the night. Family’s can something be very weird about their deceased loved one being taken from their home before they’re ready to say goodbye. I am also a 120 lbs. woman which is fine when your dealing with moving little old ladies bodies, but it wasn’t fine when I’d be called to go pick up people 200+ lbs. or more with a rickety, malfunctioning gurneys. It was definitely a very interesting time in my life.

What are some things you wish you knew about being a Domme before you started?

Everything. I would have loved nothing more than to have a professional Domme or two take me on as an apprentice. Having to learn everything on my own has been extremely hard at times, and looking back I wish I would have known what’s out there and started sooner.

If you could change one thing about the FemDom industry, what would it be?

I’d like to see Dommes helping each other out more. It seems like the industry itself is so saturated now which tends to happen with anything popularized, however, I find it counterproductive to see so many people tearing each other down rather than helping to build the industry to be a place where devoted fetish lovers can all feel welcome. I think people need to learn to mind their own businesses more and realize that everyone does things differently. In many cases what works for one person may not work for another, but that doesn’t mean it’s wrong, and all too often I see this mod mentality where one person Tweets out of line and is literally attacked by others also working in the same industry. It’s madness and that kind of aggression is better suited towards the clients who ask for it.

What are your favorite fetishes to indulge in with your subs?

I mostly enjoy sissification, cuckolding, jerk off instruction, and financial domination. I’ve always been into toying with femme boys and the swinger lifestyle which does play well with those fetishes. Jerk off instruction is fun because it’s mind fucking through verbal cues and expression, and I am in love with the energy and power that words can add. Financially dominating a man’s life and wallet is one of the most gratifying feelings in the world too. I know my worth and it’s thrilling when my subs are willing to pay for my luxurious lifestyle, even it that means they must put themselves into debt to for my happiness.

Do you have any least favorite fetishes and why?

I won’t do real life blackmailing or underage role play. Both are too risky and neither one turn me on.

Outside of FemDom, what are some of your hobbies?

Outside of FemDom I am into fitness, especially yoga. I spend a lot of time reading and traveling the world. I intend on being a student for life so typically I pick a topic or two and obsessively research it for days or weeks until I’ve gotten my fill and moved onto something new. Animals also bring me a lot of joy so I do help care for dogs during the times I am at home on break from my travels.

Does FemDom actually turn you on? If not, what does?

FemDom turns me on A LOT and I am diligently working towards bringing more of it into my lifestyle both on and offline. I sincerely hope to turn a section of my home into a dungeon as soon as possible. I’ve done the swinger thing for most of my adult life, which is great for some deep, meaningful, intimate friendships, but for me FemDom takes sexuality to an intellectual and spiritual level that is so much more theatrical and stimulating.

What are some of your turn offs?

I can not tolerate self serving, attention seeking subs who talk too much and expect me to revolve my life around what they’re doing to their cocks. EW! Stupidity is also such a huge turn off too. I am very selfish with my time and energy so if my subs like to throw tantrums and attempt to power play me to get my attention they will lose my interest quickly.

Describe your ideal slave / sub.

My ideal subs are playful, highly intelligent and helpful, yet naturally submissive and happy to be so. No one sub is perfect but I do expect them to respect Women, and to not play selfish games as a way to manipulate me/us into fights with them or each other. A perfect sub knows to show loyalty and devotion to my happiness above his own, and is very generous with his money as a gesture of love, support, and admiration. I am very fond of many subs and have learned so much from some of them over the years.

What could a sub do that would please and/or impress you the most?

When a sub speaks and writes well I am often impressed. When a sub gives without being told to do so that makes me very happy. When a sub follows directions because he has a knack for paying attention to detail I find him useful. Most subs act hot and cold about their commitment to being a sub, so when one shows true devotion to his submissive role, and serves me well for an extended period of time, I know that we’ve found the chemistry needed to build a strong D/s relationship that has the potential to last for years to come.

What is your favorite aspect of being a FemDomme?

I love the power and the intellectual and physical stimulation I get from FemDom. I’ve always been a control freak in a lot of ways so FemDom feels like my calling. I love everything from the toys, to the costuming, the lingo, the clubs, community, and the endless creativity it inspires. There is just something about BDSM that makes my heart swell and every hair on my body stand on end.

Please comment on how you feel about performing in clips, on cam, and in person. Do you offer each of these? How do you feel about them?

I find it very challenging to do clips, but in a good way. Fetish clips require a deeper connection with the viewer since much of it is mind fucking with visual and verbal cues. I love researching fetish and then implementing what I’ve learned into my clips, as well as my own lifestyle. I also do cam on Myfreecams under the name TheStellarGF. I’ve been a cam model for 7 years now and have seen myself evolve so much over those years. In the past I was more about trying to push for rankings which required that I cater to a lot of people’s needs rather than my own, whereas now I have changed and I love being on cams with a room full of subs who enjoy my dirty talking and mind fuckery. Being nude and playing with toys is still a lot of fun for me, but now it’s so much more on my terms, and I can tell that I’ve started attracting a lot more members who either are into fetish, or who are curious to learn and grow.

Is there anything else you’d like to say to the DommeSource audience, to both fellow Dommes and subs?

I think everyone is here for a reason that’s personal to you and your partners, so I want to encourage you to keep exploring your fantasies because it can be so rewarding to live a life where you know who you are to the core. Fetish is a beautiful way to express yourself and we are all so lucky that we live in a time where we have infinite resources at our fingertips, so make the most of your sex lives, be courteous to others comfort levels, and unless you’ve done something wrong, never apologies for being freaky.

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