Domme Spotlight Interview

How did you discover the world of FemDom and what attracted you to it?

The world of BDSM has always been a fascination for Me. I went to KU and studied Human Biology and Psychology, so in studying that alone, one learns quite a bit about different sexual deviations and fetishes. While I was just beginning to bloom as a young Domme in My early 20s, the knowledge that came with those studies is VERY applicable to being a Pro Domme. I am very knowledgeable in anatomy so that helps with the physical apsect of real time sessions (during corporal punishment, CBT, anal training, etc) and having a full understanding of the psychology behind a D/s relationship is KEY in keeping a good standing long term relationship with subs. Overall what attracted Me to the lifestyle is the fact that at the end of the day, a Domme is a therapist in many ways. We are the ones a submissive can run to with his deepest darkest secrets that he may not be comfortable enough to express in his own personal relationships. We are not here to judge, we are not here to scold or cast shame (unless thats part of the kink of course) and We fulfill something in them they are not able to seek out elsewhere.      

How long have you been a Domme and have you noticed any differences in the industry between now and when you first started?

I have been doing this Professionally for over 5yrs, but studying for over a decade. One of the main differences I see now vs when I first started is the giant influx of young ladies that are seeking this profession as a way to make a quick buck. While those ladies don’t tend to last long in the scene, it is quite irritating for those of us that have been doing this for a long time and know the time and effort it takes to be able to be a Pro Domme full time. This isnt just a “I just got home from work and Ill hop online to rape a wallet real quick” kind of gig. This ISNT a quick buck where one can sit down right out the gate and expect a $5000 handout from a stranger. Its frustrating to see so many new people that think its that easy, and it also turns off a LOT of potential subs from the scene. When new subs are treated like fresh meat in a shark tank and bombarded with demands for tribute, its not a good thing. They get overwhelmed, dont think anyone is genuinely trying to connect with them and get scared off. I always wish the best and even offer assistance and advice to new Dommes, but one thing I really wish more of them did was research this lifestyle a bit more before jumping in and trying to pretend they know what they’re doing. It doesnt end well for anyone that way.      

What are some of your most memorable moments as a FemDomme?

My god, I could tell stories for dayyyyys. Obviously the highest paying sessions Ive had are always the most memorable. Just telling someone I want $1000 and getting it no questions asked always gives Me a warm fuzzy feeling! And yes, that happens. Not often, but it does. One of the most recent sessions I had was with a sissy maid I was referred to by fellow Dommes on Findoms.com. He was just visiting Vegas and was interested in a “walk of shame” situation, as well as cleaning My apartment, any way I saw fit. We met at a local adult store about a mile and a half down the street from My apartment. After picking out an itty bitty maids outfit and some frilly panties and stockings, I took his clothes with Me in the car, and made him walk all the way back to My apartment. Keep in mind, this is in Vegas, on a Saturday night, on a busy main street that leads to the strip. He is texting Me the whole time, noting that passing cars are honking at him, pedestrians are commenting on his outfit or asking where his balls were, etc. He notes that his heart is pounding the whole time, he knows that he just needs to keep on the one main street for his walk but is still very nervous that he will get lost in an unfamiliar city. LOL I decide at one point to go ahead and double back in the car, to check to see if I can catch him walking by and heckle him. He finally gets back to My apartment, where My boyfriend and I are waiting and having a drink. He comes in and I immediately put him to work. While he is doing most of the cleaning in a traditional sense, there are points during the session where I have him be a human dustpan to everything hes swept off the floor or a human toilet brush to the filthy toilet seat. I paddle his ass when hes slacking and force him to clean a portion of the apartment with a strap on shoved down his throat and strapped to his face. I take pictures and video the whole time and broadcast him live in the Findoms chat room. So yeah…..that was a memorable one! LOL      

Please share one factoid about yourself that your subs and fellow FemDommes may be surprised to find out.

Hmm, well most of the Dommes and subs I know already know this, but I have been a bartender off and on for the last 15yrs almost. I have worked in fine dining, casual dining, country clubs and strip clubs. Nightclubs and frat bars, sports bars, you name it. Hard to picture your hardcore Domme as a country club employee, I know. I was told by the ladies on Findoms at the time that I looked like a soccer mom when they saw Me in My green polo shirt, ponytail and khakis! HA! But being a bartender in a frat bar, biker bar or nightclub isnt really that much different than being a Domme. I get to tell people to fuck off, dont fucking touch Me, give Me more money for more attention, etc. So it wasnt really a stretch when first doing this professionally lol.      

What are some things you wish you knew about being a Domme before you started?

I really wish I knew how many liars and scammers there really were. While it hasnt happened to Me often, I have been duped before. Biggest red flag of course, is a complete stranger offering an absurd amount of money for nothing or next to nothing. NO ONE is going to give you $500 for NO REASON. Unless you know them of course. Anyone who wants free cam time, even just to “verify you” is never going to pay you or claim they will or did just to turn around and call YOU the scammer when you never got their money. I am always very very weary of who I do cam sessions with and make sure to check their profile for their geographical location. For example, someone located somewhere in Europe is a big red flag if they are asking for a cam session and offering to pay using a US based payment method. Some of the most common payment methods that Americans use are NOT available outside of the US. Why those so called subs seem to think I dont know that is beyond Me.   Another thing I wish I knew (and this should be a touch obvious) is the amount of people that answer My ads for RT session and expect some sort of sexual favors along with their BDSM session. Given, I DO live in Vegas so I can see how those lines could be blurred, but this happened even when I was living in the Midwest. Luckily I knew to always make it clear early on in My communications that I was a Domme ONLY. I am not an escort and there are NO HJs, no BJs. no FJs, fucking Js of ANY kind. Unless we are doing a CBT session, I will not be coming into contact with anyones “junk”. I even have had a couple of people that came into a session with this understanding and then got pissy during the session because I yelled at them for begging for a handy. Those types dont need a Domme, they need a kinky escort. Which sadly tend to charge WAY less than what I do! But oh well.      

If you could change one thing about the FemDom industry, what would it be?

I think it would be the misconception that we are the same as vanilla girls on cam or the same as escorts in RT. Or that a session with a Domme is just like one might see in fetish porn. Just like vanilla porn, real life time with a Domme is NOT like it is in fetish porn, Im not going to be running around nude sporting nothing but heels and a strap on. Im not going to be forcing your head into My pussy. Im probably not going to do 90% of whatever it is you saw in that one porn that one time. That is VERY irritating. This is also a big frustration because of the large popularity influx of Domination among vanilla cam girls. They take what they think they know, mix that in with their vanilla routine and tarnish the entire idea of what FemDom is suppose to be. This in turn brings men to My cam with a distorted idea of BDSM and they dont understand WHY I wont strip for them or deep throat My strap ons for them. I get that those girls are just trying to broaden their audience to profit more, and good for them. Real subs know the difference and know where to find Me. ;)      

What are your favorite fetishes to indulge in with your subs?

I’d say something I enjoy the most is a pretty even tie between CBT and Sissification. CBT is just soooo much fun! It can vary from just some light slapping/paddling to full on use of weights, candles, sounds, clamps, rope, etc. I can easily make a ballbusting/cbt session last for hours on end. I will NEVER run out of things to find around the house that one can use to torture your genitals!   Sissification is great fun bc it is so versatile. A full on sissy training transformation is a very long process and can take months. Starting with the basics, I start with the removal of all body hair (either shaving or waxing) and then move on to having them buy the basics like underwear, lingerie, stockings, heels, toys, wigs, makeup. It can be as simple as just getting them all dolled up and having them model for Me and walk in heels to full on cocksucking training and anal training. If they are training for that, the end goal is to get a real live dick in their mouth/ass. That is something that is much easier to arrange than one would think. Men are sluts. And soooo many “vanilla” men that will jump at the chance to get free head from a dude. The internet is such a wonderful place! LOL      

Do you have any least favorite fetishes and why?

I dont much care for some of the more hardcore fetishes or taboo fetishes. I absolutely refuse to do any kind of mommy/son, mommy/baby, brother/sister roleplay. I dont have a problem with raceplay, but 9 times out of 10, its just some racist white guy hiding behind the keyboard that is just getting off on hearing a hot chick say the N word. While it does make Me uncomfortable, raceplay is not a hard limit. I refuse to do anything involving bodily functions in RT. No blood, urine or feces. I have seen plenty of that on cam and to each their own in that respect, but its not going to happen if Im right there in the room.      

Outside of FemDom, what are some of your hobbies?

A lot of very vanilla boring things lol. I have a jailbroken FireStick so I have an unlimited amount of free movies/TV that can easily take up a LOT of time. I am a very talented cook/baker so a spend a lot of time finding and experimenting with new recipes. I spend a lot of time chatting with other Dommes in the Findoms chat room and have grown very close to many of them! That is a wonderful community of ladies and a good place to just go and take a break when cam is slow.      

Does FemDom actually turn you on? If not, what does?

Nope. While it can be VERY entertaining and hilarious at times, it is not a sexual turn on for Me at ALL! To Me thats like asking if being a bartender gets Me drunk. While Im surrounded by drunk people and alcohol, thats not why Im there. Im there to make money and do My job. If I end up being entertained and having a good time while doing it, thats a huge bonus and what keeps Me coming back to it. I love what I do, I am good at what I do, and subs return to Me because I am one of the best. Thats it.   What turns Me on is not anyone’s business but My own and My mans ;)      

What are some of your turn offs?

Turn offs are people that are disrespectful, rude, hateful, bitter, try to top from the bottom, treat My profession as if it were a joke or that I am “putting on an act” just because they dont understand it. People that are new to the lifestyle but not willing to learn or listen. People that waste My time. People that dont want to or cant admit what they are looking for and expect Me to read their mind.      

Describe your ideal slave / sub.

Ideally a good sub is one that isnt just there for a one time experience. Someone who is really looking for a long term D/s relationship and knows what that means, They know it does NOT mean they are EVER going to be My boyfriend/husband/lover and are there to be loyal, respectful and obedient. They understand that My time is money and NEVER take up My time without being prepared to compensate for it. And yes, that means even lengthy conversations. An ideal sub gives tribute without being prompted and never expects anything in return. He ASKS for sessions and pays for them accordingly.      

What could a sub do that would please and/or impress you the most?

Again, a tribute without being prompted is KEY. Clearing out a wishlist or sending large tributes on holidays/birthdays. Adopting a bill is always impressive. Making My life easier in any and all ways is hugely important and having a sub take over the electric/internet/phone/water bill so its one less thing I have to worry about is very impressive.      

What is your favorite aspect of being a FemDomme?

My absolute favorite aspect is the diversity of people I get to talk to and exploring peoples kinks. Especially when they are still just discovering them themselves. Pushing limits and seeing how far those people are really willing to go. Being able to smile and laugh during sessions has always been My favorite part about this. While I have been told My smile is mocking and My laugh is evil, its still entertaining to Me!      

Please comment on how you feel about performing in clips, on cam, and in person. Do you offer each of these? How do you feel about them?

I have never been a fan of making clips. Outside of the work or editing them and uploading, it just seems tedious and not worth it to Me. Unless they are clips of RT sessions, I dont feel it to be all that authentic or personal to just talk to the camera as if its directed at a “catch all” audience. But thats just Me.   Cam work on cam sites takes a LOT of patience. Especially camming from home. Its far too easy to just get bored or distracted and just turn the cam off, never to return. While I make quite a bit of money weekly working on cam, what many people dont understand is that a lot of days, Im sitting in that chair for 9-10hrs or more. I can certainly find other things to do on the computer during that time, but ultimately Im just sitting there waiting around for people to come into the room so I can lure them into a private chat. And thats not even counting the amount of vanilla dipshits or disrespectful asshats that come into the room just to talk shit. I personally LOVE a troll. I think of it like this: a troll in a hardcore BDSM Domme’s chat room is like free advertising. Hes gonna get torn a new one, in front of potential subs, and everyone gets a free first had look of what public humiliation looks like! Hes probably gonna get an earful from those subs as well and end up leaving with his little dick tucked between his legs to run off and pay a vanilla girl to make himself feel like a real man again. And then I get a round of applause followed up by back to back pvt sessions. Its a Win/Win really. Well, for Me, My subs, and whatever vanilla lady he ends up with! HA!   Real time sessions ALWAYS take priority over any cam/skype session because, well, theyre the most profitable obviously. I have offered RT sessions for as long as I have been doing this. The question I receive the most often, from fellow Dommes and from friends is if I ever get scared of getting hurt/raped/etc. The answer to that is NO. I definitely can tell by a subs communication whether they are serious and have done this before. Its pretty easy to tell just based on their demeanor alone if they are experienced in this. I have worked with many subs who had Me as their first RT Domme, but I knew that they had at least been familiar with the lifestyle enough to know what was expected of them. I have also refused business to several potential RT subs for their lack of respectful demeanor. Its almost like setting up a date. You can tell almost immediately based on someone’s attitude whether or not they are someone you want to proceed with meeting. I also ALWAYS meet in a public place for the first meet. For a coffee, lunch, drinks, appetizers, whatever. This makes for a non-threatening environment where you can converse in person about the session and what is to be expected. I feel this is VERY important so you can feel out the person and determine they arent a psycho, etc and vice versa. A lot of times, a session can commence immediately after this first meeting. Sometimes one is scheduled for the future. Sometimes I have even determined that the person was not a good fit and never have a session with them at all. I feel like this is also a good way to determine how financially committed they are to RT sessions. If they are willing to buy a couple of $15 martinis without complaint, you’re probably good. If they ask for the cheapest possible thing on the menu, probably not going to see them very often, if ever again. If they’re willing to pay several hundred dollars for a foot worship session alone, thats a great sign. If they are trying to lowball My prices for some of the more extreme acts, obviously a red flag.      

Is there anything else you’d like to say to the DommeSource audience, to both fellow Dommes and subs?

I think one of the most important things Dommes should know (and subs as well) is that the price is the price. Dommes should never have to compromise their set pricing and subs should never try to negotiate. If a Domme chooses to offer a discount, for whatever reason, subs need to accept it and dont try to lowball. If She says She charges $300/hr for RT sessions, dont try to ask if you can have a 10 minute session for $50, etc. Treat it like its any other service. You dont negotiate pricing and time with a therapist, or try to get a car for half price…..its the same thing. The price is the price, PERIOD! If you cant afford it, either come back when you can or find someone else. But remember, you get what you pay for!  

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