Sub Spotlight Interview

INTRO HERE

How did you discover the world of female domination/submission and what attracted you to it?

I discovered the world of femdom via the internet. I had no idea that it existed before looking it up. With that said I actually first discovered that I might be a little different when I was watching a movie that had one of the characters dress up in women’s clothes to blend in. I was about 13 when I first watched the movie and I found myself wishing I could find myself in that situation. This was before the internet, so I didn’t understand my feelings and had no way to know that I wasn’t alone or unique with how I felt.

I’m not 100% sure what attracted me to the world of femdom, all I can say is it just felt right. It felt like this is where I belonged. Where I could be my true self around females and not have to put on an act and try to be someone that I’m not.

How long have you been a submissive? Are you a submissive in “real life” as well or do you switch?

I have been submissive for as long as I can remember, even when I did not know or understand the term. I have been this way with my past girlfriends, but they were never into the lifestyle and at the same time I either did not know about the lifestyle or was intimidated to broach the subject with them because of the fear of ridicule. There was always a feeling that something was missing and sooner or later the relationship would not work, and I was always left asking the same question, why?

It seemed that whoever I was dating always wanted me to take charge and that is not my personality when it comes to being in a relationship. This is not to say I can’t make decisions, or I am not confident in my abilities, but I tend to defer to my partners.

However, in my “real life” I would not consider myself submissive. At my job I have to make decisions and tell people “no” or have them redo work. I have the responsibility to be the last line of defense before a work product moves on to the next stage and if something is incorrect, I will get the questions since I’m the one that approves the action to move forward.

Are you a slave to any Domme? If so, explain why you serve Her.

I am not currently a slave to any Domme. I am taking Empress Mika’s slave training course in the hopes of progressing to a trial period as her slave. I’m interested in becoming Empress Mika’s slave for a variety of reasons. She has put in an incredible amount of work in her websites and stores. Most importantly you can tell that her slaves truly care about her, and she cares about them. Reading their words cemented my desire to have the opportunity to become her slave. She is smart, funny, stunningly beautiful. In short, she is the complete package.

What are your most memorable moments, as a submissive?

I’m not sure this really counts but my most memorable moment is when I first worked up the courage to use the internet to search “female domination”. I don’t remember exactly what I thought I would find but was shocked by the plethora of sites. I went from thinking I was a freak or alone to seeing that thousands of people had similar interests. There was a weight that I had been carrying around, that just left and I was more at peace with how I felt. I can remember spending all night looking at different sites and trying to learn everything. It also opened my eyes to things I never considered.

What is one thing you wish you knew about FemDom / submission before you started?

I wish I knew that I could take my time and figure out exactly what I wanted and who I wanted to serve. Once I found out about this world via the internet, I felt like I had to rush into a decision, or I was going to miss out. This led me to into situations where the Domme and I were not compatible. Not every Domme and sub is a good fit and its OK to take a deep breath, slow down and find the person that you connect with instead of jumping into a relationship with the first person you find. In the long run you will be much happier if find the person you connect with instead of trying to force a square peg into a round hole.

Are there aspects of the FemDom industry you wish you could change? If so, what are they?

I think one aspect I would change is for everyone to be honest. It would make everyone’s life easier if people were clear and honest about what they were looking for and what are their expectations. I also wish everyone would stop wasting each other’s time. I’m sure there are a ton of submissives that waste the time of Dommes. At the same time there are Dommes who do not care about the submissives. Mutual respect and clear communication would be best for everyone.

What are your favorite fetishes and why?

Feminization/sissification is one that I have always been fascinated with and I’m sure it goes back to it being the first thing that peeked my interest when I was a teenager. There is something about transforming that makes me feel more in touch with who I am. I’ve also always been drawn to chastity. Locking up and losing control of the one thing that every male strongly identifies with has always provoked strong feelings. I also find myself interested in small humiliations such as wedgies, swirlies, standing in a corner, and mouth soaping. These are all things that never happened to me but is the classic horror stories you hear about occurring in high school (well some of them anyways). Height humiliation is another one that I find I’m attracted towards. Its just another aspect where it’s clear I’m not measuring up.

What are your least favorite fetishes and why?

Upfront I will have to admit that I don’t have a ton of experience when it comes the following fetishes so I’m not 100% that I would hate them, but they are ones I don’t have any real interest in trying. Public humiliation is one of my least favorites. I think the main reason is because I have a good job and I don’t want anything to effect it. Electricity and fire also don’t interest me. In fairness I have never participated in either of the activities, but I find them scary. Permanent marks is another one that I don’t have any interest in as I’m not looking to be permanently scarred or damaged.

In “real life”, do you consider yourself successful? In other words, were you born a sub or are you a sub by choice?

I do consider myself successful. That is not to say there aren’t aspects that I would like to change or work on, but I don’t see myself as a loser. I have a nice career that I enjoy and think I make a difference, even if its small, in the world. I have great friends and I’m close with my family. I have hobbies that I enjoy and think I have a full, rich life.

Describe your ideal relationship with a FemDomme.

My ideal relationship with a Domme is one where we both connect. Where we get along outside of the fetish world, and we want to learn about all aspects of each other. I want to be able to make her life easier and would want her to help me grow as a slave and as a person. I would like to feel as if we are a team working towards one goal. That we had trust in one another. That we had respect for each other even though I’m serving her. Open communication would also be important, we both would need to be able openly communicate and talk about what is and what is not working.

What is your favorite aspect of being a sub?

Seeing her smile and feeling pride that I did something especially well or completing a hard task. Hearing “good boy” melts me. Learning something about the Domme that you can’t read on the internet. Feeling an emotional bond forming. At the end of the day anyone can tell me to “put on panties” but to feel like a connection is growing and that she truly cares about me and wants to shape me to improve her life and help me improve mine is way more important and meaningful than a random, generic task.

What do you look for when looking for a Domme? Are there any special characteristics that you look for?

I’m looking to see if the Domme is serious. Is this just a passing fad or something that she really enjoys? I try to do research before I approach. Does she have a presence online or does everything seem superficial, again this is just me trying to figure out if I think if she is really interested or someone who is more likely to disappear in six months. I have some connection and abandonment issues so I will start to disengage if I think someone is going to leave me or if they don’t care about me. For myself I’m also not looking to be yelled at or degraded in every conversation, so I’d move away from anyone that seemed to hate all males. As for characteristics I love serving a taller Domme. There is something about having to always look up or having her look down on me that connects with me.

Is there anything that a Domme does or could do that would turn you completely away? Or, if you have served a Domme before and left, why did you leave?

I think for myself, if I thought they didn’t care about me or my feelings that would make me look elsewhere. I need a deeper connection. I want to care about the Domme I’m serving and would want her to care about me as well. If there is no connection then it feels like a business relationship, which is perfectly fine, but isn’t what I am looking for in a long-term relationship. The other thing I think is important is to have matching fetishes. If they don’t align, at least somewhat, then one party will start to become dissatisfied and either not put in the effort or just stop communicating.

Do you partake in online sessions, clips, or in person sessions? Which are your favorite and least favorite and why?

Online sessions are probably my favorite and again its because I’m interacting with the Domme and I find it easier to connect if we are both talking and learning about each other. I have never had an in-person session so I’m not sure how to rate that one. The one thing I’m confident in is I would be completely nervous when meeting a Domme and afraid I would make so many mistakes. I have purchased clips and I find them fun and enjoyable. However, I think they would be my least favorite of the three listed. The reason is I don’t find the connection because they are for everyone.

Is there anything you would like to say to the DommeSource audience, to both fellow Dommes and subs?

I think its important to be honest with yourself about what you are looking for and what you want to get out of any interaction. I would also urge anyone to take time and make sure there is a good chance that a match will occur. In a vanilla relationship communication and honesty is important and I think it’s even more so in this lifestyle. It’s also important to be realistic. If you have $5 to spend on a Domme you cant expect that they will spend every waking moment with you unless you are benefiting their life in another way. There are thousands of subs that approach Dommes daily so don’t rush and do it haphazard as you only get one chance to make a first impression.

Of course, you do! Fill out the request form here and maybe you will have the honor.

There is a separate section for subs to interview, with the primary goal of showing Dommes a peek into the minds of various subs. Fill out the request form here and maybe you will have the honor.