Power Play Between Yourself and Your Subs

Power Play Between Yourself and Your Subs

Power Play Between Yourself and Your Subs


When I was first learning about FemDom, one of the most confusing aspects was the power play between Dommes and her subs.

It goes a little something like this:

Part of FemDom is about empowerment and being in control. The subs must obey and do whatever I want! On the other hand, the sub is paying for an experience. If he is not “enjoying” what is happening, I’m not going to get paid for my services and being paid is very important. Yet, I can’t really “cater” to his desires because then I turn into a slave for the sub! Ugh!

How to you prevent this from happening to you? Simple! Simply:

Enjoy what you’re doing!

It sounds deceptively simple… but perhaps it is. As long as you are enjoying what you’re doing, you are never a slave to the sub. This is why it’s absolutely crucial, before you begin, to define what you are and are not okay with. This includes the decision on if you will be a nude or non-nude dominatrix.

This is incredibly important. Enjoying what you’re doing as a Domme means that the sub will pick up on that as well. This is an excellent thing! Honestly, there really isn’t any sub that doesn’t want you to have a good time (and, if he wants to upset you, then he isn’t a sub at all). If the sub isn’t having a good time but you are, then perhaps it isn’t a good match. In that case, it’s best to know that up front rather than wasting time.

On the other hand, if you, for lack of a better term, become a FemDom Robot and do pretty much everything a sub asks for you, no matter how it makes you feel or without considering your enjoyment, then yes, you are on a path to become a slave to the sub.

Don’t fall into that trap! It might be tempting because, at the end of the day, you have bills to pay and maybe you “don’t mind” doing something. However, subs are likely to also pick up on the fact that you’re not genuinely enjoying yourself and this will likely hurt your business rather than increasing it. Remember, you cannot be the perfect Goddess for every sub so it’s best to stay true to yourself rather than trying to squeeze out every last dollar. Money can’t buy the way you feel about yourself at the end of the day, after all.


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